Advice, My bf is upset I ignored and patronized him. 25F 29M
Last night I asked my bf how work was and he gave me a short “it was good” answer so I didn’t press. Later that night his coworker called him and they were on the phone for maybe 30 minutes so I asked if everything was okay while I was cooking our dinner, he unloads a bombshell about him potentially losing his job over something minuscule. I started asking questions like why this would happen and what started the whole thing while I continued cooking our food. We were having a conversation about it and at the end I tell him that I didn’t think he would get fired and everything would probably be okay in the end. I tried to give him a hug and he just looked at me like I grew a second head… I was very confused by the way he acted and I gave him space bc I thought that’s what he needed. I finished cooking 5 minutes later and served him, I went to eat and noticed he wasn’t eating so I asked him if he wasn’t hungry anymore. He got very upset with me and told me no he wasn’t hungry because I ignored him the entire time and was patronizing him… I was extremely confused then bc I was actively talking to him about his problems so I didn’t understand how I ignored him at all. I was asking him why he thought this and we went around in circles for about 20 minutes trying to understand each other. I’m a very emotionally driven person and I was doing my best to be logical and not let my feelings get the best of me but I did get upset by not understanding how I ignored and patronized him and I started crying in frustration. We never yelled at each other or were rude to each other but he did get upset saying “how can he expect to ever talk to me if all I’m gonna do is cry”. This hurt me because I was trying so hard before I got to this point. He finally explained that me not stopping what I was doing and saying “everything will be okay in the end” was ignoring him and patronizing. He said I should have given him ideas on how to solve his problems even tho he didn’t ask me to. I understand where he is coming from to an extent but I still don’t understand how I ignored him. Maybe I’m missing social cues and should have stopped everything I was doing in that moment but it was very late and we were both very hungry so someone had to make food… there’s a lot of things I probably should have done differently in that moment, and I’d like constructive feedback on how to approach this situation when it happens again. I want to be the best partner I can be!EDIT: I’d like to add that he called me a liar bc I don’t know if everything is going to be okay therefore I was lying to him. 🤷🏻‍♀️ TL;DR my bf is upset claiming I was ignoring and patronizing him by trying to console him about potentially losing his job. Constructive feedback on how to approach this situation in the future would be appreciated!

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A guy tried to hit on me (F24) and I'm unsure if it's important to tell my boyfriend (M24) about it
Basically the title, I was just minding my own business walking in my city because I had some errands to do before going home after lunch time.A guy approached me from behind in a little isolated street while talking on the phone so I thought he was maybe lost or needed help and stopped. Then he began to ask if I was German, I said no, he insisted and he kept asking about take some coffee together.I declined multiple times, said I have a boyfriend and as expected he left me alone. I felt scared and so uncomfortable by the stranger guy's approach.Not too long ago I had a guy chasing me for months way before I met my boyfriend so I kinda used to these situations and even more aggressive approaches sadly. But most of the stories that happened to me since I was a teen I have told my boyfriend but I don't know if I should tell him what happened today, if I should tell him by text or personally.Tldr: I was hit on by a stranger which made me really uncomfortable and I'm unsure if I should tell my boyfriend about what happened

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My boyfriend said he doesn’t feel much of anything when I tell him I love him
Ive (19F) been dating my boyfriend for over 3 years and he (21M) recently told me that when i say I love him he doesnt really feel much. He knows I love him back, but he doesn’t appreciate that I say it to him or feel he loves me back like i do in that moment. It’s almost as if he’s desensitized. I feel like I give more love in our relationship than he does. I get so excited to see him but he just doesnt seem to get excited like I do. I get really clingy for days after we have sex but he doesnt seem to get clingy. I’m not sure if these things are normal or if he’s depressed right now, he’s recently told me he feels out of it and he doesnt feel like he’s in the moment. I was really isolated for 3 weeks because i went through my own mental problems but I’m noticing now that he just doesnt want to hang out with me all day like he used to, he goes off to play with his friends very often. Im not mad he’s plays with his friends, but sometimes it feels like an excuse to get away from me. At the begin of our relationship he was clingy but i miss that so much.TLDR: My boyfriend said he doesnt feel like he loves me much when I tell him I love him. He’s been a more distant compared to one month ago when we were calling all the time everyday.

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I [22F] can't stop comparing my boyfriend's [22M] behaviour to his friend's.
My boyfriend acts extremely sweet, loving, and patient when he is alone with me, but when he is with his friends and I am with them he treats me rather differently. In a sense, like one of them I suppose. I've tried communicating that I want to be treated like his girlfriend and not his friend, even when around his friends, but it hasn't really gone anywhere since he says that's just his nature and he can't change who he is and how he acts. One of his friends who has a girlfriend as well seems to do the same (treating her slightly differently when around the boys).I figured this was perhaps normal then, until another one of his friends recently got a girlfriend and he's been nothing but extremely kind and nice towards her, even infront of the rest of the guys. It makes me feel rather envious in a way, and arguments have started rising nowadays as I've brought it up with my boyfriend multiple times. He says not to compare our relationship with them which I completely understand and am trying not to. It's hard when I see them often and they have a dynamic (being nice to each other both in private and public) I wish I could achieve. How do I stop comparing my boyfriend's attitude change and behaviour to his friend's? I really want to change and understand him better, as I don't want to force him to be someone he isn't.tldr; boyfriend who is normally sweet and loving to me when we're alone acts differently (makes fun of me in ways I dislike, calls me names) when around his friends, one of his friends recently got a girl and has been treating her nicely and lovingly in private and public, which makes me jealous of the dynamic they have. How do I understand my boyfriend's behaviour and stop comparing him with his friend as they are two completely different people?

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Thought we [30M, 30F] really hit it off but then he slow faded after sex?
I went on a really great first date the other night. We had fun, got along, had lots in common, similar humor. He was really kind and communicative. We talked about a lot of deep meaningful topics. We ended up sleeping together, which I rare for me on first date. I know I’ve been dating for awhile, but I really thought he liked me as a person and we were at least starting a friendship if nothing more.He didn’t sleep over, which I understand but texted me the next morning, wishing me a good day. I respond similarly, throw in some fun banter. Hours later he sends a kinda bland low effort response. I respond, with something that sort of invites more conversation… and it’s been two days and I haven’t heard from him.I’m not new to dating, I know this happens, but I am now questioning if I did something wrong here. I’ve had a hard time finding a relationship and haven’t gone really on more than a second date in awhile. I usually try to get to know a person a bit more before sex, but haven’t really gotten past the first or second date. I tried to be communicative and kind and fun and myself…. And now I feel like I did something wrong or there is something wrong with me?? TLDR: thought I met a wonderful guy, had lots of fun together, and then he faded after sex. What happened?!

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My(32F) Husband(39M) has an addiction problem and i dont know how much more I can take
My husband and I have been together for 12 years, married for 10. We do have two small children. For the last 7 years he has supported me in going back to school to become a lawyer. I finished my bachelors and I am now about to go into my final year of law school. I work 40 hours a week, I travel 3 hours round trip three nights a week for law school. Next semester will be 4 nights a week. I am doing the best I can between work, school, being an amazing mommy and wife.Our past has been extremely rocky, he has cheated on me at least two times that im aware of. He also has a drinking problem and would drink a 12 pack of beer every single night and get smashed and I was left to take care of the kids, bathtime, jammies, bedtime etc. When I started traveling for law school I was afraid to leave the kids in his care because he would pass out on the couch drunk. He got help, we did counseling and he stopped drinking except Friday and Saturday nights either at the house or with our friends but he never really got stupid drunk anymore so i was happy. I am not a saint in this marriage, I had an affair during his drinking addiction, i do not condone my actions and I know i hurt him but i was angry and lonely for his actions. This was all 4 or more years ago for both of us.Now 5 1/2 months ago my whole world started to crash. We almost lost our house, our cars, everything we had worked so hard for all these years because he traded one addiction for another. He had a gambling addiction and was blowing his whole paychecks on gambling. He wasnt paying the mortgage, car payments, car insurance, nothing. I had gotten some money back from school so I bailed him out almost $10,000 in January. By March he was stealing money from me again. I woke up on our sons birthday and saw 600 dollars gone out of the bank account. I was going to leave then but he convinced me to stay. A month later I found out that he was in trouble at work and spent over $9,000 on his work credit card. He apparently isnt going to lose his job but has to pay it all back plus get our mortgage and car payments all caught up so we dont lose everything.I left and stayed at my moms for 3 weeks and he convinced me to come home and i did because i missed him, our house, our life and wanted things to be normal for the children. I have been back in the house now for about 3 weeks and things just arent the same. He was angry at me for leaving and told a bunch of people i left him with nothing, begging them for money because i apparently took everything when all i did was cut him off from the bank account. He has since taken over 300 dollars again since I moved back in, he has an excuse each time of having to pay someone back but that he isnt gambling but i dont believe it anymore. He did start seeing a gambling counselor and got a second job to help with the bills. I sleep with my wallet everynight, i changed the PIN on my bank card, removed him from the bank account but we are constantly fighting still because im angry, he is angry and while ill always love him and care about him as a person, i dont know if i should leave for good or if any part of this can be salvaged anymore.TLDR; Should I leave the marriage and try to move on with my life? Do I try to make it work for the kids? Is it possible to trust him ever again?

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The Cleaning Fight
Partner and I are both women in our 30s and have been together for 11 years. I am the clean one, she is the messy one. The last several weeks/months, I've built up some resentment as I have been doing the vast majority of the housework. On a walk tonight, I tried to bring it up and we got into a huge fight. I mentioned that I feel like I'm doing all of the housework, and she just turned livid and exploded. All about how I don't want to live with her and how I want her to erase herself from our home. She hurled some pretty hurtful stuff about how I'm just have to live in a perfect house just like my mother (in a lot of therapy about that atm). On my side of things, I really just want her to notice things more. Pick up hair on the bathroom floor, unload the dishwasher, make the bed once in a while. She does express appreciation for my taking care of things, but I'm just very frustrated that she never does any housework without my prompting. And when I do prompt and she does it, she wants lots of praise. Any tips on how to cool this down? I understand I could have done better bringing this up, but in the end I'm left feeling like I shouldn't ever say anything and just deal with the mess on my own. We haven't had this fight in probably 3 years. TL;DR; Got in the standard couples' cleaning fight. Looking for advice on how to cool down a very hot reaction and meet both of our needs.

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Anyone with advice/experience in a high/low sex drive relationship?
I talked with my therapist and the main issue in my current relationship (almost a year and a half) is I (20F) have a significantly higher sex drive than my partner (20M). My therapist suggested scheduling sex and I’m not sure how that will play out, I will ask my partner how he feels in the morning. I’m not even sure how I feel about it which is why I am not able to sleep. I want to know if scheduling has worked for anyone else? Has your relationship lasted/gotten stronger despite different sex drives? Did it fail due to different sex drives? Any other suggestions? Support? I’d really appreciate it since I don’t have much experience with this. TLDR: I am looking for advice for my high/low sex drive relationship.

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How should I [33F] comfort my husband [37M] after being demoted at work?
He and I have been together 15 years and married for 12. I have a few ideas in mind (and of course, I know him well enough to know many things that bring him some comfort and joy), but I want to know if anyone else here has suggestions (especially if anyone here has dealt with being demoted or fired before). As a brief summary, I've made sure to spend lots of time with him, do our hobbies together, compliment him lots, reassure him, all sorts of stuff like that. A bit over a week ago, my husband was demoted from his job as manager at a theater back to box office/projectionist (his previous job). It has hit him really hard, and it's been affecting him to the point that a lot of his other insecurities (sadly, he has long has self-esteem issues) are getting worse now for him because of it. I've been comforting him all the ways I can think of, but I just want to see if anyone has any suggestions that I could try too. I suggested that he take a little time off, but he's done the opposite for the past week. I just want him to feel as special and loved as he is, and to know he's worth so much more than a job title (I've told him this explicitly too).Tl;dr: My husband is having a hard time and I want any and all suggestions of how to make him feel better and happier with himself.

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Why do I want to be loved so much?
I've always wanted to be in a loving relationship where my partner adores me and loves me no matter what, and vice versa. It only ever seems to be me loving someone so much I devote my life to them and it not being reciprocated.I have had two serious relationships and many flings in the past. First relationship ended with him saying he never actually loved me but wanted to, and to get away from me he pretend to unalive himself and went missing for two days. We were together just under a yearSecond relationship lasted 10 years, married for 7 and we're now getting divorced as he hasn't loved me for a very long time and I'm convinced he never did. I don't know what I'm doing wrong but I'm scared I'll be alone and unloved for the rest of my life. I have so much love to give, but no one to return it and I'm lonely. I don't want to do all this on my own.TL;DR Woman in 30s desperate to be loved and doesn't know what to do

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